Couples Therapy: 7 Signs of Trust Issues

couples therapy

Trust is very important for a committed relationship. Your partner should be your closest friend and confidant. Your partner should be able to open up to you about anything also.

If you’re reading this, it’s possible that that you have picked up on some clues that your partner might not be telling you the whole truth. Or maybe you’re seeing one of these 7 signs of trust issues in your partner.

1. Undue suspicion

Anytime your partner seems to be more curious than usual, or more aware of your behavior an schedule may be a warning sign of them having trust issues.People with trust issues tend to cast past experiences into the perceived future and therefore are always anticipating that their trust will be broken.

2. Trust without question

If your partner simply doesn’t seem to understand the inner workings of trust then this could be a sign that they have trust issues. Trust should be earned, hence people who simply give trust without a valid reason or making any effort to ascertain whether the trust is deserved may not be completely sincere.

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3. Questionable exes

Trust issues are created by people. Past relationships frame our future expectations. It may be that your partner has a history of placing their trust in the kind of people who were most likely to disappoint them. These betrayals can become an emotional self-fulfilling prophecy as if they are unconsciously confirming that no-one can be trusted.

4. Closed and guarded

A traumatic past can shatter a person’s ability to trust. Such a person will be closed and guarded for fear of repeating past experiences.  It takes trust to open up and share your thoughts and feelings, but your partner may have “learned” that their trust will be used against them.

5. Your relationship is shallow

Even though both of you are very deep people, your relationship is based on very light issues that barely scratch the surface of intimacy. If your relationship is mostly based on external events and has nothing to do with real feelings or a deep emotional connection, it’s a sure sign that one or both of you are afraid of opening up to possibly getting hurt by sharing.

6. Afraid of commitment

Every time you want to move forward to a different step of the relationship, your partner seems unwilling to take that bold step with you? This could be a sign of them having trust issues. People with trust issues are afraid to commit emotionally for fear of the anticipated and inevitable loss of this connection.

7. Overreaction to genuine mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes at one point or another in their lives. Even when you try your best, you may still end up hurting there. It’s only human. However, if your partner has trust issues then they may not be able to tolerate your imperfections due to their ever-present prejudice of trust issues.

Seek help from a trained professional, if you or your partner are unable to resolve trust issues in your relationship despite several attempts. A knowledgeable and compassionate counselor can help you identify the healthiest path for you and your relationship, whether that means ending a harmful relationship or working to strengthen love and commitment. Trust issues in a relationship can happen due to many reasons but it is never too difficult to eliminate them if you are determined to make your relationship work.

Dr. Dan Quinn

Clinical Director - Licensed Clinical Psychologist (CA23350), Dan supervised the therapy and research of doctoral students at The Wright Institute, in Berkeley, where he has been a clinical supervisor. He has spent many years studying a multitude of therapy techniques, including relational psychoanalytic, cognitive behavioral, gestalt, solution-focused, and Internal Family Systems. He draws from all of them, depending upon the needs of the client at a particular point in the process. Dan was certified as a Positive Psychology coach after studying with its founder, Dr. Martin Seligman. He has 35 years of experience in the corporate arena, and was the CEO of a highly successful technology consulting firm.

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