Trust is very important for a committed relationship. Your partner should be your closest friend and confidant. Your partner should be able to open up to you about anything also. If you’re reading this,...
Here’s a really simple question that you can train yourself to ask, whenever you’re in a fight with your partner, “Am I fighting to win? Or am I fighting for the relationship?” Because if...
Another way of putting it is “couples therapy is not Wimbledon” The couples therapist is not there to go, “what do you think you should do?” Couples therapy is more like if you were...
Back when I was getting into all this stuff in the late 60s and 70s, we thought the thing to do was to sit down. We thought that a really happy relationship was where...
I always tell couples to look up John Gottman on the internet. We have links on our website. John Gottman has revolutionized couples therapy by studying thousands of couples. Basically, when couples damage a...
A lot of our clients are, how to put it, pressed for time. They often use terms like, “Hectic,” “Stressed,” and, “Crazy busy.” If Crazy Busy was a real diagnosis, we could say there’s...
It’s Better If You Go For It. We know a ton about what makes therapy successful. For example, research has repeatedly found that, of all the factors that predict a successful therapy (like various...
Sully Sullenberger was piloting an Airbus A320 with about 150 people sitting behind him when birds flew into both his engines, and suddenly he was dropping through the air in a silent airplane. What...
What you want to do is create an agreement with each other that when we’re starting to get escalated, an alarm goes off. You know, “wait a minute, I want to have a conversation...
Ever wonder why someone seems nice, but you feel uncomfortable around them? Consider the possibility that negative emotions are “leaking” out of them in what researcher Paul Ekman terms, micro-expressions. Learning to read them...
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